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| This is Gary leaving! |
HOLY COW. It has only been 3 weeks since Gary left. It feels like forever. It is much different than I had expected. I didn't really know what I thought it would be like but I'm surprised at how difficult this has all turned out to be.
The SHINING moments of each week is the 10-12 minute phone calls we get. He is changing, in a great way. Today he talked about how he has learned to enjoy the smallest things. He also said even if he came home today he would be a different husband. He said he has never missed me so much-or anyone to the extent he feels. Every time I have to say goodbye its a little teary but so worth the short talk I get with him.
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| Right before all the tears came |
He has sort of become the spiritual leader in his squad. Some people were having a difficult time and he was explaining how they have to be strong. He opened up and told them he will be missing his first child's birth. That brought on some others talking about their situations. One has had his grandpa die while being there. Gary had brought a nonmember to church with him as well. He is a natural leader and I am so proud of how strong he is being.
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Gary got a gift for Jackson's birthday. So I have a gift to open at the
hospital from him. No I have not peaked and I don't know what it is. |
I am now 36 weeks! ONLY 4 more weeks of my life as I know it. Without Gary here it all makes me even more nervous then I would already be. I can do it right? I can be a bit emotional when I am tired. I am most nervous about dealing with the baby all alone-throughout every night- and I HOPE I can sleep for naps. I have a difficult time napping. I can feel so tired during the day and once I go lay down my mind won't rest and ultimately I don't sleep. BUT maybe things will change as the exhaustion sets in with a newborn.
I have been a little freaked out about everything that I realize I am missing out on the greatness that is happening around me and IN me. I am more recently trying to relax and find the positive things in having a baby. Everyone talks about the difficulties and I have been focusing far too much on that. So here's to a new experience, a new life, and a new attitude to being happy with all the blessings of my life-because I do have oh so many.
2 comments:
wow.
you guys are doing great things. it sounds like gary is having some amazing experiences and opportunities. my brother had similar experiences in boot camp. it was (i think) that hardest thing he's ever done (and he's pretty tough), but he grew so much and had some great spiritual growth as well. it was pretty amazing for him.
and you are such a trooper, too! you're in the home stretch (pregnancy wise, at least)! and sounds like your little guy is going to be named jackson? so cute! i love that name!! i've been thinking about you a lot and i am praying for you.
Oh Julie you are amazing for taking all this on. Going through stuff like this is reserved for the strong ones like you. I could never do this! Your going to be the most fabulous mother, and you will be on such a high when he arrives that you won't care if you have no idea what you are doing, or that you haven't slept in days. I look at it this way, you are responsible for giving this child the best and most happy life possible, so who cares about anything else! You will be in my prayers, love you sis!
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