Conference!
I always love conference. I didn't use to until I was on my mission. To be quite honest the first conference on my mission I was actually most excited that we had hours already booked and planned out. I was with Cheyann Ross. What a great companion. This is when I fell in love with conference! It reminds me of a book I read before the mission. A book called, "Blue Like Jazz" says something that hit me.
"I never liked jazz music because jazz music doesn't resolve. But I was outside the Bagdad Theater in Portland one night when I saw a man playing the saxophone. I stood there for fifteen minutes and he never opened his eyes. After that I liked jazz music. Sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself. It is as if they are showing you the way."
I feel this applies to me in so many things. At one point in my life I really feel like I was 'past feeling.' I have slowly been showed a better life. I have talked about my amazing roommates that showed me how to be happy, feel loved, and have a more vibrant life. My mission lit me on fire with wanting to live life to my fullest and my husband is the best man I could imagine to continue helping me with all of it.
I still have some conference to catch up on but what I have seen is great. WONDERFUL. I have had a new fire to learn to do (at least a little) genealogy, to be a better person, and the crazy amount of impact I will have on this little parasite in me! :) The importance of being a great mother is weighed on my mind and my abilities I am unsure of. I know I will try my hardest and some days won't be as great as others. But ready or not here comes motherhood.
As I find the amazing quotes in conference if I feel the need I will share an exert. Today is,
"...External circumstances don't really matter or determine our happiness. WE do matter. WE determine our happiness. You and I are ultimately in charge of our own happiness... Brothers and sisters, no matter our circumstances, no matter our challenges or trials, there is something in each day to embrace and cherish. There is something in each day that can bring gratitude and joy if only we will see and appreciate it." Dieter F. Uchtdorf.
I really like this. Although I still have not so good days I realize I am the one who determines my happiness. No matter the outside influences- of ANY sort- (and there are some doosy ones right now in my life) I can choose to love and move forward. I am strong, I am LDS and I love life!
