Secret Saturdays

I thought up this idea awhile ago and contemplated back and forth if I should do it or not... WELL I am doing it. For all my readers, this blog is the good, the bad, the ins and outs of ME. Judge as you may.
Ok so Secret Saturdays will be small posts, but tells you something about my past that's either a secret or many people don't really know. They can be good and bad about me. You will catch on as weeks go by.

This week I am doing a memory with my childhood best friend Krista. I got an email from her and it has taken me back to memory lane. So its a past secret about us.
At church Krista and I had a blast. We were "smashedededed" behind doors, we would always go hide in the mothers lounge for sunday school- only to be found and dragged to class (thanks Janice Crump :)) Anyway... When we went to young women's we were either 12 or 13 at this time it took place. We were so bad we actually made our teacher cry.
For some reason Krista always got the brunt of it-they always thought it began with her. Even though no one else might have known, Krista was the one that always made things right. It was her idea to make treats and write a SORRY note and drop it off at her door.
So, the secrets out...Krista and I made our church teacher cry.

Mission

So I am excited to have a bit more time on my hands the next few weeks. I have been wanting to start up with Tribute Tuesdays again. BUT this time its going to be different. I ended with the time right before my mission tributing to my roommates and best friend Jerilyn. Now I want to start with my mission but I would like to recount it all. Things were hard at times and some wasn't so pretty. So Yes a tribute still but it won't all be the good. I think its good to express it all. The reality of the mission.
Since its not Tuesday I am going to start with a poem I wrote while on the mission.

(Blogger is acting weird and not showing all options. Sorry if it looks all weird-still am not blog savvy.)


Mission Life
I want to go home, but want to stay.
I want to work, but want to play.

Left my job, family and friends.
I want some mail but few faithfully sends.

I left my job that I truly loved.
But hey, I chose this I wasn't shoved.

I left my social life and stopped going to school,
I'm use to being independent, but there are so many rules.

I stopped going out on dates.
I don't see my family although they're down a state.

I left my life for 18 months all back at home.
No driving MY car, seeing MY friends, or calling on the phone.

So why did I come for so long out here?
So many tears inadequacies and fears.

No one cares they all have their own religion.
So i leave them my testimony that Christ is God's Son.

But what? Who's this? This man DOES care.
He has so many trials he's trying to bare.

But he doesn't have to bare them on his own.
There is a savior, follow the pathway he has shown.

I say, "He loves you" as tears roll down his face.
"And when you die you go to a better place."

"Your wife and son are there right now."
he says, "I want to live with them forever, but how?"

We teach him more and his testimony grows strong.
But Satan will attack, he'll tell you its wrong.

So the day has come and he's dressed in white.
His smiling face he has this extra light.

Once again I'm leaving my family and friends.
Wow this is real! This is truly the end.

The Lord wants me somewhere different.
Even though I'd stay off I'm sent.

"Please let me stay, Its what I prefer!!"
What's this? This is only a transfer!?!

This is how I REALLY felt a lot.
In a few days I will do another poem I wrote on the mission about the mission.
Hope you enjoyed my funky poem.

secrets of a....

Secrets of a Married, part-time work-with low low pay, College student life.

About a month and a half ago our tv went out. It was a tv that was given to us (like most of our furniture) it was a big fatty old one that was probably about a 36 ' TV. Well we trashed it and seeing we are far too poor to buy a new tv a friend said she had one to give us. Its great! A little small (little also known as

puny!) The tv now is a 13'. Its quite funny! But hey we have a TV!

As we are both so busy with school, work, homework, and trying to relax a bit dinner can get to be such a task. So our favorite meal in this stage of life is Hawaiian haystacks! We put a beautiful array of colors and its always appetizing to see! YUM. We find random toppings & just add it!

We love Christmas! YES WE DO! But seeing we are going home 2 and 1/2 weeks after Thanksgiving we didn't see fit to buy a tree just for that time. BUT I still HAD to decorate! Longer you get to celebrate Christmas the better! So we had to improvise!

50 life goals

Awhile back my friend Jerilyn put up 100
things she wants to do in her life. BIG, small, and many inbetween. It got me thinking and it was a fun to put a list of my own together. So some are bigger, some small and some random. Here I go! (not in any specific order)

1. Own 3-4 homes that we rent.

2. Get my real estate license.

3. Be in a play.

4. Get the Lyman family on a cruise.

5. Go on a $250 shopping spree.

6. Go see my Brother and Sister in law in Tennessee

7. Volunteer at Camp Hobe again. (a cancer camp)

8. Learn to play a few songs on the guitar

9. Swim with dolphins

10. If not too expensive- permanently straighten my hair.

11. Throw another surprise party for someone who would least expect it.

12. Go to Carcassonne France.

13. Be in a place financially where we can help others in need.

14. Do "RAK's" -Random Acts of Kindess. ei- buy someones dinner at a restaurant, thank you notes, follow spirit on this.

15. Be an Academic Advisor.

16. Own a cabin in the mountains.

17. Go on a cruise through the Panama Canal.

18. Become a fairly good sewer.

19. Own a season pass to Disneyland.

20. Do something to repay Julie and Rick Brunson for all they have done-and still do for me.

21. Be a stay at home mom.

22. Be a part of Jerilyn's book club that she puts together.

23. Buy the "Monte Cristo Sandwich" at Disneyland.

24. Do a volunteer trip to a different country

25. Do an UNHEARD of, HUGE thing for someone else.

26. Read the entire Bible front to back.

27. Get back to the optimal weight for my age, height and sex.

28. Be able to cook/know 50 healthy meals.

29. Be in a game show. (ei Family Feud, Price is Right, Lingo)

30. Go to a real haunted house (not lagoon, or haunted corn maze)

31. Go to SYTYCD auditions or America's got Talent show.

32. Always be learning via taking classes, learning about my kids, being open to be taught by

children- especially my own.

33. Grow a garden with lots of fruits and veggies!

34. Publish my own poem

35. Make another quilt. (a good one! :))

36. Ride on a passenger train.

37. Take trips to all Missions of the Lyman's (a few Broomes) that are out of the country and

take the person that served there. So, take Gary to Canada, Kathryn to Sweden, Ricky to

Australia, Brent to Korea, Liz to Tiawan, Andy to Africa, Kerstin (and Lisa) to Brazil, and Spain with Kevin.

38. Ride on an elephant.

39. Have a member missionary experience as a member that goes somewhere.

40. Get a non behaviorist counselor.

41. Camp on a beach.

42. Be in the midst of a bunch of fireflies.

43. Give up sugar for 6 months again.

44. Own a hybrid car.

45. Learn to play the Piano.

46. Move back to SLC.

47. Go to Venice Italy.

48. Be in a Basketball and Volleyball League.

49. Have at least 3 children.

50. Try being vegetarian for awhile.

Grateful~ top ten grateful list

Top Ten (not in a specific order)

Lately I have been writing daily tender mercies. I really want to always remember and acknowledge the little things that happen in my life and be optimistic. Since its Thanksgiving tomorrow (YAY!) I wanted to take some time and say what I am absolutely so grateful for.

1. First and very much foremost my husband. There has been some rocky, sad, and hurtful times together but far so much good... especially lately. Gary has just been the sweetest guy around. The things he does and says makes me feel like when we were dating/engaged and it was blissful/and I get it now! We are surely meant to be together.

2. Yes friends, but more than anything my best friend. She has changed so much in such a great way, the way I knew she really was. Kind, thoughtful, complimentary, hugs, smiles, fun, boosts my confidence in so many ways, calls me, wants to tell me everything, and happy. I am so absolutely happy that I get to have such a great friend... well, more like a sister. (On top if it all we get to spend Holiday's, vacations, and family events together! We are so sisters!)

3. The Gospel. I can't go without expressing my utmost gratitude for how the gospel has changed every nook and cranny of my life. Even when I wasn't so strong, left, had many confusions

I was helped along the path. Now that I am back with fire I can't even explain the absolute joy it has filled my life. I don't know if I have ever been so happy as I currently am. (times on my mission comes neck and neck). I want to scream from the mountain tops how much I have learned, how everyone can be just as happy as I am. I love my Savior so much and this season I want everyone to know! To my friends that mock, siblings that snicker, strangers who look down you are loved, even if you don't see it God is real, and KNOW that the Savior lives.

4. Family. I get the greatness of celebrating holidays with 3 families.

My family, Gary's and my adopted family (Brunson's/Best friend). This week I am watching every meal I eat because its not just one, its three! Thursday, Friday, and Saturday I will have wonderful meals! More than the meals I am so happy who I get to spend them with. My family is real close, us siblings often stay up to the

wee hours of the morning talking about deep things. Its one of my absolutely most favorites.

Gary's family is also great. They are all so...GOOD. (best word I could come up with my small vocabulary) I love how goofy, funny, and how much we will laugh. (usually because Gary is doing/saying something) No matter the circumstance they are always willing to help. Just like yesterday Ricky (gary's brother) was coming home from ephraim, he stopped to go to the bathroom and ended up fainting. To make a long story short, Kathryn called up Kerstin and told her the situation and she said she will be there in 10 minutes to help go get Ricky (who was still an hour and half away) This is the epitome of the Lyman's.

Last but definitely not least the Brunsons. They always have a ton of people there which makes it fun. We on occasion will go out and play sports, or 'night games' with the kids but then we also will talk, laugh, and be in such great company. For some reason most of the time I leave the Brunson's I'm on a high. I'm just happy, feel so blessed I get to be a part of a family like I do and they surely treat me like one of their own. (sorry that was a novel gratitude)

5. My condo. I absolutely love our little condo. It only really fits us in it (and guests sleep in the front room) :) but it was the right price, the right place, and the right timing.

6. To live in St George. I absolutely LOVE St. George. The weather is beautiful. Gary and I go on walks all over the wonderful town. On top of the greatness of the place I get Gary all to myself. I need this time away just so I can be obsessed with him for a time. We don't have family to always run off to, or friends that are easy to drop by and hang out with but yet....

7. We have an Aunt and Uncle that lets us eat Sunday dinners with them. Its a great mix of being separated from most of the family but yet still get to enjoy the simplicities of a free meal and good company. LOVE it. (They are such a generous family! More than you know)

8. Kevin and Lisa.

Okay I know they are my siblings, thus my family BUT I can't go without saying them specifically. Kevin and I just get each other. I don't know if its partly because we are only 15 months apart, we have grown up and have done so much together, or if its just because we just simply understand each others needs and attend to them. I can never say enough about Kevin. I remember days of sadness and he has boosted me right up with simply the most kind words. He knows how to touch my heart in the specific way I need. Absolutely NOTHING against Gary but at times he just hasn't understood so I talk to Kevin and HE calms my aching and makes me feel so good. He is so great as well. I can remember many times where he felt like a girl was being mistreated and has stuck up for them. He has a great sense of humor, along with a great laugh. (okay as you can see I can go on and on... but I haven't even gotten to Lisa yet.)

9. Lisa. My sister! She is not only my sister she is far more than that word expresses. She has been my nurse, teacher, and listener. She has been an example of excellence.Although an atheist I have learned more values and inspiring things than that of a religious one. She is an inspiration in many more ways than one. Her mothering is one of the best I know. Taking an infancy and childhood class I am constantly thinking, "hey that is what Lisa does." (on all the recommended things to do.) She is one of the most giving, she serves more than anyone else I know. Constantly giving her time, efforts, food, and thoughts on how she can help others.

Not only all of this but she has been there for me from the beginning. She supported me in my dreams, told me I can when i felt like I can't, let me cry on her shoulder and she cried with me (for me). I am sure lucky to have a sister like her. I get the benefit far more than the other way around. She is my friend, my sister and one I know I can rely on.

10. Holidays.

Life is so fantastic but Holiday's just make the monotony of life exciting and wonderful. I love this time of year. Not because of the cold weather but because of the joy this season brings. family, food, love, and if people are in the true season then people are giving, happy, and happy. Plus CHRISTMAS is the BEST holiday and its coming so soon! This time of year also brings so many traditions. I love it.

Been a while... little update

Long time past due... But let me explain.

SO I know its been a while since I posted.

I had great plans, and still do of things I want to post. BUT let me tell you this semester is a little more than hectic. I have done 12 papers this semester already (half way over) and have at least 5 more that I know of off the top of my head. Its the PAPER writing semester!

No wonder by the end of people's bachelors they are burnt out! Seriously. I still like school but I am glad to be finally finished in may!

Other news is that I am going to do 2 internships (if I get both jobs) next semester. Call me crazy but I will have school, one partially paid internship, an unpaid internship, and work! Okay that sounds like a lot more than it is. First off, one internship will only be 5 hours a week and very flexible on where I am doing the work. Second the other internship I set the hours.

The most exciting thing is after next semester I have a high chance of being the newest member of Dixie State College Academic Advising! In the midst of that I will take classes for real estate too! Man I can't stick with one field of work, but who says I have to?

The funny thing is I have been contemplating getting a childhood education degree that is offered here at Dixie as well. Man if i felt like I had a good enough life when I went to college I would be a PERMA student! I saw a radiology book at the library and I instantly got sucked in and wondered if I wanted to get this degree too! WHO DOES THAT? I don't know, I just love learning.

I have yet another paper I have to get to. This one shouldn't be too difficult though. Wish me Luck!!

Time-- another Poem

This is a poem I wrote for a presentation I had to give on paying more attention to our kids. It was suppose to be a persuasive presentation to get everyone to be on the side I was taking. Anyway, I came up with this poem.

I remember the days of laughter and carefree,

we played a lot and was happy as can be.

Slowly by slowly you both were gone so much,

so busy with work, or school, or church and such.

Alone I sit wanting to be cared for,

I was so excited when you walked through the door.

I asked you to come outside and play,

All you said was, "I'm too tired, I had a hard day."

So now I'm alone again and you don't care,

because all you wanted was me out of your hair.

I don't hate you, I just want you to take time for me,

I'm so important to you don't you see?

TRiBuTE TuEsdAy

Tribute to My BEST FRIEND Jerilyn Joyce Brunson, My sister, my confidant

The one that has been there from the beginning to the end- the hard through the great.

I have avoided doing a tribute to Jerilyn for a few reasons. One, I can place her at almost any time in my life. (I was trying to go in chronological order) Second, there aren’t really words to describe, no one will quite understand and I want it to suffice. Third, it will probably take me a long time, in the midst crying, laughing, smiling, just loving all around. So takingall of that into account here I go:

I just want to apologize beforehand because in order to get everything out the best I can I will have to follow my thought process which might be a little jumpy from here to there.

I chose to write about Jerilyn right before my mission because I really feel like she is a HUGE reason I felt confident enough to even go on a mission. Jerilyn and I got our mission calls the same

day and were also lucky enough to go to the MTC the same day. (even though our available dates weren’t the same) It was a godsend- and probably a ton more for me than for her.

Ok so back up. At this time I lived with Jerilyn and her family. We sure did a lot. Some of my most treasured times though is in her bedroom. We would stay up and talk for hours. Analyzing, talking about life, wondering this, wondering that. When I spoke I remember her saying things like, “I never thought of that before- wow.” and “You’re SO SMART” or when

I would say that I didn’t know about this concept or that thought but she would constantly make me feel like I should get a million bucks just for thinking of it.

My confidence was shot still at this time, so she prepared me to feel strong, to be happy with me, to really know I am a child of God. She was one that really helped me see who God might see in me.

Let me quickly interject here, I have known Jerilyn since 4^th grade. We were childhood friends until her father moved away and then when I ended up moving into her father’s house we became best friends. Jerilyn knows so many minuet and big details of my life. I can tell her anything and she can tell me anything. For those of you that really know me this is an ENORMOUS love language for me.

If I feel comfortable enough to tell you things in confidence and you in return I feel very special. We know things about each other that almost no one will ever know. I am married now and I won’t ever keep things from him but Jerilyn knew a part of me—and helped me through it—that he will never know. Jerilyn has known me in my dark, depressive state, and when I have healed. She has LOVED me through it all-never ceasing. (no matter what your thinking Jerilyn—never ceasing! At least I believe that)

I can remember the day of entrance to the MTC. I just was so happy I had my best friend with me. I barely even shed a tear. I got to see her throughout the 3 week stay of mine. I had an AMAZING companion and she had a hard time with hers (at first). Talking and confiding just like when we were at home. She always helped me feel like a million bucks.

Jerilyn would send me letters, tapes, call me even on Christmas and mothers day—yes I know this wasn't obedient, but for the option of her being in Ukraine and somehow being able to call me somehow felt like God was okay with it, and if not I still was. I was always just pumped-once again helping me feel like a million bucks.

It is so hard for me that she had such a hard mission. It makes me sad, cry, and wish that somehow it could have been different. That somehow I could give her some of my mission- even if I missed out. Mostly because she helped me so much to even get on mine, and mine was life changing, amazing, touching, healing, tender etc. I want her so bad to get to have that, to know of the remarkable experience.

OH we've had a lot go on from laughter, tears, fear, distraught, depressed, love, hope, faith, loss of faith, loved lost, utter enjoyment, excitement, worry, happiness, joy, to family trips, sibling vacations, camping, Hawaii, Disneyland, Cruises, many 3 A.M.’s, Oakcrest, Holidays, Birthdays, many and many

special gifts I treasure, talks about @(# and about #@#()$, we have done it all-all together. And it’s all still continuing, more memories, more experiences that I will add to my treasured moments.

I’ve said it before but no one will ever know the effect Jerilyn has had on me. I will forever feel gratitude towards her. One day I was thinking about our relationship, my feelings and wrote a little ode to her. Some of which I want to post:

You are my best friend and will always have a place in my heart. No matter if you hurt me, tear me to pieces and stomp on me, no matter if you decide you don’t want to be friends with me anymore, no matter if you even sent me hate mail and wished you never met me… you have changed my life. You personally have made such an impact on my life that I have this dedication to you. You have helped me in so so many ways and have made me feel loved and helped me feel confident during the deepest sorrow of my life that it’s like I owe it to you. Like me life is this happy because of you. I feel in some small way that it was like you were a savior for me. It makes me think of Christ and as if you were working together because he couldn't get me through any other means he had to get me through you. You were an angel sent by God to make sure that I was lifted, it makes me cry when I really think about how much joy you have brought to my life, how much self-worth you brought to me, how much life you brought into my deadening soul.

I love you and wish you knew how much

So here is to you!! No one might ever know or understand what you personally have done for me, and probably you yourself won’t know

but I will and for that I will always be dedicated to you, trying to be the best friend you will ever have, trying to be there for you when you need-no matter the circumstance, trying to show how much I love you AT ALL TIMES because I owe it to you, because I feel it for you and because you deserve it.

For now I will try and show it as much as I can

Love me!