Life update

Life has been quite different the past little bit.

At the end of June Gary and I went up to SLC. He stayed while by weekend's closure I was going back to St George. Gary has a window washing business he does over the summers (makes really good money which helps with our lack of motivation to work full time jobs the rest of the year). All of his clients are in SLC and he knows great places to find more clients up here. And who in their right mind would want to work in the extreme heat in st george anyway. SO I have 2 jobs in St George and nothing in SLC.
SEPARATION!
Off I went to St George, knowing little of the struggle that was awaiting me. The first little bit wasn't too bad. I was very busy with my 2 jobs, unpacking, projects I had written previously and other random things I set up. The hardest part of the entire month alone was CONSTANTLY going home to an empty house, sleeping alone (while constantly scaring myself with "did I lock the door?" type things), and no one to make food for, go out to eat with, watch movie with, go to the park with, shop with, anything. The normal things I never realized how much I LOVED doing with Gary and now I would sit alone unmotivated to do other things watching the health and fit show.
The funny thing is I didn't mind at times being alone, to do whatever I please and how I pleased. It was times when I would talk to Gary and he's going camping, fishing, downtown with my best friend, seven peaks, my families fathers day party and my sister's birthday party. I missed a lot in June and if I wasn't planning on coming up so much in July I would have come in June. But Gary had something often. I was happy he was keeping busy, having fun and I loved hearing about it. I soon became ok with it all.
One night I was talking to Gary. He was off to go do something fun and I said, "what should I do?" Being the kind hearted man he is, he said- "do something for someone else." OF COURSE. I used to do this all the time when I was younger. I loved making brownies, cookies or anything sweet then writing a note and doorbell ditching it. Or anything to make someone else feel special. This made me realize that I had all the opportunity in my own hands to have fun.
That night I ended up doing something for Gary but ended up planning many things so I wouldn't be bored or alone so much. First, a fun party at my house with ward friends. This was an absolute blast. It made my entire month worth it! I got closer with all of them and it has now become a monthly thing! (So excited for July 13th!) Then, my another friend of mine, (Christie) and I went and saw Hairspray at Tuachan. It was WAY fun and I sure love doing things with her. My companion texted me one night and she ended up coming down. We went to Benja's (SO GOOD...I highly recommend anyone who is coming to St George to try it out!!) and a movie. She slept over and came to church with me.  We both had a spiritual experience that brought us back to our mission and a man we both love (I think I will do a different post altogether for this experience.)  Lastly I also took a temp job for one weekend. It became a very busy and fun time. Although I missed Gary still I was reminded that we have to make our own lives into what we want. Giving or moaning, exciting or boring, alone or friendship, happy or sad. I was waiting for someone to invite ME over, I was the one ALONE. It would be so nice of someone right? NO, I create what I want my life to be. I became okay with what was going on in our life. Not seeing Gary every day wasn't the top of my bucket list but it doesn't mean I can't be okay with the situation and have fun otherwise.

I think too often we are waiting for WHEN THIS happens then it will be okay. It is always NOW, WHEN never comes. Its always in the future and its so easy to constantly find the when. Yes I wanted to see Gary, I knew when I got to see him again I would be happy. But why waist all the happy times I did have waiting for the ONE happy thing to come.

I am SO glad I followed the promptings to keep my jobs, to be separated for a time and to learn once again that NOW is the time to live life no matter what the circumstance is. I give all praise to God, He knows us so well. He is so aware of our tiny details of life. I am SO grateful for the MILLIONS of blessings I see constantly. God is REAL. I use to wonder, and I still have many religious questions or misunderstandings but this I KNOW God loves us, is aware of you, he is VERY real in my life.